im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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