dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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