Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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