My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
