let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think my moral compass just broke
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
