hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
