I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
