There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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