For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
