come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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