I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
