just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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