"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
