We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
