Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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