My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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