No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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