I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
