i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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