I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
