From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize