Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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