I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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