if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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