sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
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At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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