I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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