sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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