he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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