I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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