he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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