I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
