you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
