just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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