I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize