Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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