What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
