i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
