If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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