is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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