And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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