No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He shit in the fireplace
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
