i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
