When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
