I love black thongs
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
