its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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