I think I died a long time ago.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
