I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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