in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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