In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
