votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
