ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
