We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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