Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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