How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
