My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
