Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
