im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
