if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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