just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
