I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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