There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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