i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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