That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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